Saturday, October 01, 2005

confession

so, when i get my hands on a sharpie, i can not control myself. i try! (a little)... but the marks they make are so bold and good... and all that stuff i see, is so bare... okay, well i guess i better tell the story. okay, stories.

so the other day we are at aunt margie's house. i play with the pool table for a while, then i almost pet the dog, but he is a little too scary. and then i turn the light on and off. and then i see the hallway and remember there are rooms down there for me to go look around in. i take a quick glance around, and nobody seems to mind much, so i head down the hall into margie and joe's room. there is lots of interesting stuff. and then, there on the desk, i spy it. a sharpie! this room, i decide, needs some decoration. you know the rest. i hear people heading down the hallway saying "where is sam?" at this point i realize maybe i should have thought this through a bit more. i make one last mark on the carpet, when margie comes in and her eyes get real wide. mom comes in right behind her. margie takes away the marker, and they look around a little. before long they discover all the marks. the dresser... the other dresser... a little on the floor and one mark on the wall... and the remote control... mom looks in my eyes and tells me that i am never, ever to draw on things with markers. i nod to show her that i understand. it is hard to look at mom when she talks to me like that, because it takes the fun right out of everything. mom tells margie she is really sorry, and margie says it is okay. mom's face is all red.

so that was kind of a big deal but not too bad. i tell myself i am done with sharpies, though, because i do not think mom was very happy about that whole incident.

the next morning, i wake up, and mom and dad are still asleep, so i decide to read a little bit. then i see it on top of the shelf. another sharpie. i look away, trying to focus on reading again. my eyes keep being drawn back to the marker, and before i even know what is happening, i am making a really detailed picture on the wall. i realize how much i have actually drawn and take the marker off. oh no! mom and dad told me i am only to ever draw on paper! i find a piece of paper and draw on it. the paper is too small. oh, but then i see my cat in the hat book! these books are made of paper, so surely they are okay to draw on. so i draw on another and another and another... then the marker slips off the book and starts to draw on the carpet. the mark on the carpet does not look quite right, so i try to make it look a little better. then i wonder if you can see the black marks on a black chair and decide to experiment a bit. (you can, by the way; it looks shiny) then i draw a little bit on the bed and the pillows. mom does not let me finish the design i start on her forehead, before she wakes up...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

oh sam! you are going to be an artist like your mommy!!! i bet aunt margie and mommy just love your art...good luck with more sharpie adventures!---katy

Anonymous said...

It was like waking up to see that the house is on fire. First you think, "Oh, a flame," then you see more flames and more and you shriek, "Whoa, this whole place is on fire!" Only replace the words "flame" and "fire" with "elaborate permanent marker lines."

Anyway, it's all captured on video. Walls, mini blinds, blanket, pillows, rocking chair, woven basket, Dr. Suess books, tiny bible carrier, WoW d20 book, carpet, stuffed animals, Sam's legs and feet and every single toe, some of his clothes, Lisa's forehead (a nice, vague M shape), his baby blanket, his little baby rocking chair, the alarm clock, and the electrical outlet (yes, he apparently tried sticking the Sharpie into each tiny hole of the socket). They are all covered in intricate scribbles like some alien runes. After he got spanked and sat on the bed looking guilty for a few minutes, he proceeded to lead us around the room and show us every single place where he'd scribbled, all the while talking in his little baby babble as if making his confession. His penance is to not touch any pens until he is five years old.

--jeff miller

Anonymous said...

Oooooh! I know what to get Mr. Sam for his birthday... *evil laugh*

Anonymous said...

sam, once your mommy and daddy find a solution on how to get sharpie out of EVERYTHING, they may make a butt-load of money selling their secret, then you'll be off the hook for good.

ask them to share their secret with me for free in case i need it in the future!