my secret

so i know a lot of stuff. the thing is, i have been holding back for a long time now in the talking department. i am not really sure why, but it seemed like the thing to do. i talked a little bit a long time ago, and i even said my first word almost a year ago. (it was "good," and i was talking about my food, of course.) then i just kind of stopped, except for the occasional "Mama!" and "Daddeeee," used kind of non-specifically, and usually when i want something or am hurt. i used to repeat words and sounds that mom or dad tried to get me to say, but i felt that that was kind of cheating, because it was not really in context or my idea. but now, there are words and things that i really want to say. i do not know how many times i have almost let my secret slip and just started blurting out sentences. i am afraid that my mom and dad could not handle this, so i have to do it a little at a time. i would not want mom to pass out or anything, and judging by her reaction to the tricks i have been pulling out the past few days, that is definitely a valid concern.

the first one was actually an accident. we are sitting in McDonalds the other day, and i drop my french fry. before i know it is coming out, i hear myself say, "Uh oh!" and then i look up, and mom's eyes are open wide, and she is asking dad if he heard me. he says he did. for a minute i do not know whether to deny it or just go with it, but i eventually decide to go with it. "Uh oh!" i guess that is an appropriate way to start things off. no turning back now!

the next day, mom comes home with this little bag of beads that look very much like the ball in The Cat in the Hat. the one with the stripe and the star. anyway, i notice the similarity, and i point to the beads and say, "ball!" mom, of course, freaks out. "oh my gosh, jeff! did you hear that?" (jeff is my dad) "he said ball, because these look like the ball in his book!" well, at least she understands what i am talking about. but i need to take a few days off. this excitement can not be good for her.

this morning, i really really want mom to wake up, so i decide to pull out another trick. "E!"....... "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Mom wakes up and sees me pointing to an E on her shirt, and says, "Yes! that is right! E!" now i have known lots of my letters for a good couple months now and have been pointing them out on command. i just had not told anyone i know how to say them too. i pick up my book, One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish, by Dr. Seuss, and before i can stop myself, i find myself pointing to the O and saying "Oooooo!" then i do "D" and "R," although "r" is sort of hard to say, and i can only really say "ah." we will work on that. but i thought that was enough for today.

mom seems to be doing okay. her color is back to normal.