staying awake 101

so i do not like to go to sleep. i do not like naps, and i really really really do not like bed time. do you? i doubt it! here are a few of my methods for staying awake. they are not perfect, because i always end up falling asleep eventually. but i hope that you find them useful!

1. protest. sometimes this will buy you a couple minutes before the laying down happens. you might get to watch a homestar runner cartoon with daddy.

2. demand drink. juice is best, but i always end up with water, if anything. i am working on this one.

3. claim that something hurts. just the first thing that comes to mind. if you can not think of anything right away, just say, "...hurts!" this actually works out better for you in the long run, because then mom or dad have to figure out what hurts, in case something actually does.

4. kick off blanky. demand blanky. repeat.

5. engage the layer-down in conversation of any kind. usually a persistent "mom.".... "mom."........ "mom."....... will work. they cannot help but respond, even if it is just to say, "shhh. lay down and go to sleep, sam." tell them about every sound you hear. tell them about your day. sometimes if you are lucky, they will talk back a little bit before they remember you are supposed to be sleeping.

when all of those have worn out their usefulness, just fight to stay awake. here are some good methods:

1. kick and flail. motion and exertion keep your body awake. lift your head up and bang it down on the pillow. do whatever it takes.

2. inch your way up the pillow until it is completely uncomfortable or until you fall out of bed. it only hurts a little, and it is a sure way to keep yourself awake.

3. sing. it does not have to be a real song. just anything. make up your own words. this keeps your brain in it.

4. when all else fails, blink a lot.